ALRIGHTY THEN!
New York style bagels.
Ingredients:
3 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp yeast (or one packet, which is 2 1/4 tsp, but it works just fine. Trust me)
1 1/2 tbs sugar
1 1/2 cup warm water
1 1/2 tsp salt
Take 1/2 cup of the warm water (I just measure out the half cup, then get the rest from the tap when I need it - no point in letting it cool). Make sure it's warm to the touch, not hot. If you want to be exact, use a thermometer. Too hot and you kill the yeast. Add the yeast and sugar. DO NOT STIR. Let sit for five minutes.
Combine the flour and salt in a medium mixing bowl. Make a well in the center.
Five minutes up yet? Get the other cup of warm water. Stir your yeast mixture GENTLY until the sugar dissolves. Pour into the well. Pour about half your warm water in with it, then mix until all the flour in incorporated, adding water as needed.
On a well-floured countertop, knead the dough until it is smooth and uniform (between five and ten minutes). It should be firm and moist, but not sticky. Lightly grease a medium mixing bowl (or, while you're kneading, make your kitchen monkey/slave/spouse clean the bowl you already used). I use a pan release spray, but you can do whatever you wish. Form the dough into a vague ball-ish shape and try to remember about how big it is. Put the dough into the bowl, turning to cover it in the oil you used (or, if you used release spray, just lightly spray the top of the ball).
Now, point of disagreement here.
I usually cover my rising dough with plastic wrap. I was taught to cover them with a damp cloth, but if your kitchen isn't the right temperature, I've noticed it can severly slow the rising process. If you're like me and you love your apartment verging on freezing, close the damn windows, turn off the A/C (if you have it - and I'm jealous if you do), turn on the heat (if it's winter or still below 50F) and let the dough rise.
When the dough ball (which is way too much fun to say) has doubled in size, punch it down. Doubling will take anywhere from an hour to three hours, depending on how warm your kitchen is and the temperature of the water you used. I've had bread dough take six and a half hours before. BE PATIENT, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER.
Cover the dough and let it rest for ten minutes. In the meantime, clean up the counter you kneaded the dough on and reflour if necessary.
By the way, ten minutes takes FOREVER. Find a couple awesome songs on youtube, dance like an idiot, and BAM! BACK TO BAKING! Oooorrr you could prep your toppings. I'm pretty fond of a simple cinnamon-sugar and garlic-onion bagels.
NOTE ON TOPPINGS:
If you want onions and you do not have any minced dehydrated or onion powder, start them simmering when you start the dough rising. This, of course, assumes that you don't need three hours for the dough to rise, but you can always let the onions cool between cooking and topping.
Divide the dough into roughly equal balls, twisting to break off the pieces. This size batch will give you eight medium bagels and 14-20 small bagels. Roll them on the floured countertop to flatten out the rougher edges, then poke a thumb (or pinky finger, depending on how large your bagels are) through the center. Stretch the hole until it is about 1/3 of the diameter of your bagel. Lay your bagels out on a lightly greased cookie sheet and cover with a damp paper towel. Let them rest for ANOTHER ten minutes. Dance some more, sing a ballad or two, preheat your oven to 425F (220C) and get some water boiling on the stove. I do mine in two or three smallish saucepans with two to three bagels per pan at a time, timed every twenty to thirty seconds. If you have a larger pan or lack the attention span to pay attention to three pots at once, add as many bagels as you are comfortable putting in all at once.
Using a slotted spoon, put the bagels in the water. They should float after a couple seconds. After one minute (two, if you want chewier bagels), turn them over and let them be for another minute (or two, again, for chewier bagels). Pull them out and put them back on the cookie sheet. If you have a kitchen monkey/slave/spouse, they can add toppings (dry toppings can be sprinkled on; wet toppings should be brushed with an egg wash, then dipped).
Put in the oven. For small bagels, 12-15 minutes. For medium, 18-20. The bagels should be a golden brown.
Resist the urge to slice one in half, slather it with butter, and shove it in your face. Fail to resist the urge. Burn your finger, but nom anyway. Resist urge to eat the rest of the batch in one sitting.
If you try any other toppings, let me know how they turn out! If you live in my area and want to be a taste tester, let me know and I'll send bagels your way.
